- Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm," and the warrior whispers back, "Who in the fuck just said that?" because fate is invisible.
- A good attitude will take you further than a good resume, I mean unless you've got a really kick-ass resume. Like, if you've got some top ad agency listed, people will probably put up with your shit.
- Do or do not; I don't care either way. Stop asking me.
- When you look back and see one set of footprints in the sand, check the water because Jesus could be attacking by sea.
- The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be touched, at least not by a shlub like you.
- Nothing is impossible, but for all intents and purposes lots of shit is impossible.
- What you do today can improve all your tomorrows, or really fuck up someone else's tomorrows.
- Aim for the moon. Seriously Fuck that fucking moon. Smug piece of shit.
- The secret to getting ahead is getting started with an overwhelming advantage in wealth and privilege.
- A good name will shine forever, or hopefully at least until you're dead. Did you know Gandhi was a child molester and Mother Theresa was a nihilistic sadist?
- Happiness depends upon ourselves and our ability to find someone to do weird sex stuff with.
Inspirational Quotes for a Moderate Fee
These days no one can get through the soul-crushing monotony of life without a little help. That's why I'm getting in the inspirational quote business. Feel free to print these up and send me $50 for each one you use.
at 11:10 AM