1.07.2014

Stop Putting Fucking Mustaches on Your Cars

If you live in a large-ish city in the US you've probably heard of Lyft, the ride-sharing app you can use to avoid having to take a taxi. The way it works is simple: you download the app, you load your credit card data because obviously you can trust this thing you just downloaded that immediately asks for your credit card number, and you request a ride. Then a creepshow in a rape van is instantly given your location and phone number and will call you to let you know they are on their way towards you and there is nothing you can do to stop them. You pay through the app, and both driver and passenger get to rate each other for things like punctuality and smell and willingness to engage in sexual congress. It's all super neat and allegedly cheaper than hailing a cab.

Credit Lyft with immediately realizing people would need a way to recognize a stranger's car coming to abduct them give them a ride so they started handing out giant pink mustaches to people who apply to be drivers. Slapping a mustache on your car's grill is the same as flipping on the light atop your taxi, so whoever asked for a lift (oh god I just got that!) can easily identify you and then hastily walk away from the curb because they just realized you are the kind of person who drives around idly waiting for the opportunity to get a stranger in your car.