Badvertising: "I sentence myself to die?"

I guess my complaining about rats in my attic and web searches for pest removal have triggered some sort of cookie that leads to me seeing a ton of ads for Tomcat rat poison, like this one (you might have to click it to enlarge):

I have kind of a visceral revulsion at tracking like this, but I realize I'm basically fighting the tides at this point. So whatever, at least killing rodents is slightly more relevant to my interests than day-glo blazers. But what the fuck is going on with this ad?

There is another variation of this with a little mouse in a cowboy hat who, I think, shoots himself dead. He gets little cartoon Xs over his eyes and everything. I sort of dismissed it out of hand, but when I saw this bizarre take on rodent criminal justice I paused, with a lot of questions in my mind.

What sort of schizophrenic pitch is this? 
Why is the mouse wearing a barrister's wig? 
Oh, wait, I guess he's wearing it because he's an actual mouse barrister. 
Okay, well why the fuck is the mouse a barrister? 
Why would he sentence himself to die? 
What did this mouse do that was so horrible and malevolent that he not only fell from the grace of his position in the high court of, presumably the UK, but was also compelled to sentence himself? 
How could he have possibly been so overwhelmed with grief, shame, and guilt as to condemn himself to die? 
Is that even allowed? 
Surely he would have to recuse himself from mouse court, right? 
Why would mouse court still abide by the death penalty in this day and age?
What other sorts of crimes would mouse court preside over?

You'll notice none of those questions was "Where do I get Tomcat rodent poison?" 


Wren said...

I work at a joint that sells heavy construction equipment. We get targeted ads for tiny men's panties called Diesel Briefs.

Randall Cleveland said...

I made the mistake of ordering a 6-pack of underwear off Amazon once. I am forever doomed to those same targeted ads.