Uh, You First

I should confess that I don't even own a suit. It's something I think about rectifying every six months or so, when I'm feeling particularly scrubby and in need of a wardrobe upgrade or I have a funeral to attend. But for a long time I kind of prided myself on being the sort of guy who doesn't need a suit, which in the business world is a horrible and self-defeating ethos because at some point you will need to look sort of professional for somebody. That's the whole point of a suit, right? To look professional, put together, and well to do.

Which is why this is so fucking ridiculous:

"The short suit is finally going mainstream!" says professional liar Hayley Peterson in Business Insider, citing such factual sources as "Pharrell wore one to the Oscars."

And really, who could argue with the guy who refuses to admit he's wearing a deflated cow bladder as a hat? He's obviously a style icon and should be emulated at every opportunity! Except rarely has "I saw this at an awards show" justified showing up to work dressed like Angus Young

I really want to be in the room the first time some poor 23 year old wears this to his first grown-up job thinking it's socially acceptable. Because let's be honest, this is one of those products that can only be sold to people too young and naive to know better. Surely no grown man would wear this unironically, right?

I know this is the sort of thing people are supposed to wear to Great Gatsby-style summer parties that happen in parts of New York they don't put on poor people maps. You know; the kinds of places where you can wear boat shoes. 

But as much as I'm shitting on it, I really want this to become a thing. Because I don't get enough opportunities to openly laugh at people throughout the day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I happen to own a couple Short Suits and love them. Nothing says I am professional and I like to party than these ... well, except my mullet.

Keep your eye up and chin on the ball.