2.04.2014

Is This Really All That Arousing?

There's a strip club near my office. Despite the fact that everyone instantly "jokingly" asks, I've never been in. I've yet to visit a strip club in Washington, mainly because: 
  • As a person over the age of 25 I like to think I've outgrown throwing down $15 for a beer.
  • My last experience in a strip club was slightly less than awesome.
  • I'm happily married and, failing that, I have an internet connection if I really need to see naked ladies.
  • Strip clubs in Washington don't serve booze and don't let the dancers get naked.
That's right. Strip clubs with no stripping. So whatever. But the club outside my office has a giant video board advertising all the boobs and butts you apparently can't see inside. So I get to look at that all day out the window, which is nice.

Lately they've been advertising a "Topless Tug o' War" and, to be honest, I'm unsure how that's supposed to be enticing. Of all the gym class activities I could envision topless women performing for my titillation, tug of war is pretty low on the list. Way below topless dodgeball, topless floor hockey, and even topless-we're-doing-line-dancing-for-a-week-and-nobody-knows-why.

I can't really picture this as sexy. Do...do the boobs jiggle differently while straining to pull a rope? Will they be pulled into something, like a pit of jello or whatever, that would look good on boobs? Is it just the Roman gladiator aspect of semi-nude combat that's arousing? 

I'm curious and also horrified to see what kind of person is lured by the promise of a topless tug of war. I hope they don't have to do it in those stiletto heels; "topless broken ankles" sounds even less sexy.

1 comment:

NichK said...

I follow your blog, try to read through what's new every few weeks. Hilarious that this entry is here because my first strip club adventure took place this previous weekend. I'm a girl, and I went with friends, a mix of girls and guys. Walking in I saw a pregnant cocktail waitress, as the night progressed i had a drunken friend naked on stage getting licked places, and two of the guys we were with disappeared for an hour and a half and came back a little too relaxed. I didn't know that strip clubs were this "indecent."

But what really startled me was this shower show they had going on.

The shower show cost $5 (being with guys, they gladly paid for us girls to watch) and basically it is what it's called. A show in a shower; two strippers naked with a shower head nozzle going to town. But what happened next was just too much. One of the two strippers inserted a completely full can of red bull up her $#%&^# for $5, then shot it out like a rocket.

So for my first strip club experience I would have to say I don't think I liked it, but then again, I don't know what I expected. In conclusion, the tug of war doesn't sound that far off the norm.