2.26.2013

No, I Do Not Want to Sell Insurance

I'm job hunting. It's pretty stressful, but I think that's the case for most everyone who's ever hunted for a job. I'm not going about things the smart way and looking for a new opportunity while I'm safely and securely employed already; no I'm looking for a new gig while not having any paycheck coming in and a mortgage to pay. I think the hardest part of unemployment is the swirling race of panic that can sometimes strike when you're not ready for it as every second that ticks off the clock feels like it's wasted because you should've gotten a job by now. So you set a routine: you get up early, you exercise, you eat something, and you send out resumes. You call staffing agencies. You post helpful reminders on Facebook and LinkedIn in case any of your friends know someone who's looking to hire. And the whole while you have this imaginary pile of your remaining money in your head and it's on fire.

But just when things are looking bleak, you get an email! You hope against hope that it's a response from a potential employer, that someone has deemed you worthy of, at the very least, a 15 minute phone conversation to determine if you're worth talking to in person. A choir of angels sing! Light casts down on you from the heavens, illuminating your very soul! You might just be employable after all! You gleefully click the subject line, which reads something like "Re: Your Resume on Monster," and are greeted with...

A canned form letter asking you to apply to be an insurance salesman.

2.25.2013

First Time Home Owner: Damn That Drip!

If you didn't already know, I recently bought a house. My wife and I agree that this is by far the most grown up and terrifying decision we've ever made, and firmly secures our status as white yuppies no longer able to be cool and hip like our apartment-dwelling friends who cannot possibly fathom anchoring themselves down with a house. But so far home ownership has been pretty nice; I've even painted a room four fucking times! It still doesn't feel completely real to me; there's no graduation ceremony or singular moment where you feel yourself ascending from responsibility-free renter to home owner, and we were in our last place long enough that it still kinda feels like we're on vacation or something.

But last night I learned the true plight of the home owner: the random drip.

2.19.2013

How Do You Achieve Internet Stardom?

Since I've recently become an expert on achieving internet super-stardom, I figured I'd pass along some tips so that you, the not internet famous plebeian, can fight your way to the upper echelons like me.

See, the trick is content. You've got to generate captivating, engaging content that people will not only seek out but pass on, share, and comment on. 

Like these guys.