10.22.2013

The Perils of Democracy

Kat was thumbing through our voters' guide and noticed this:


I wonder if there's a set threshold of silly write-in votes King County is willing to accept before they feel it necessary to place a full-page ad kindly admonishing us idiots to stop writing in "Boba Fett" for County Commissioner or "Goofy" for City Treasurer. 

Surely they expect a few every time. I usually do it when there's only one person running but I disagree with their politics. (Speaking of which, there is a surprising number of these city- and county-level positions where people run unopposed. Want to make a difference and start your political career? Take a shot! I would but, y'know, I think they run background checks on candidates.)

So someone, somewhere, held a meeting. And I like to think they stood at the end of a long boardroom table, slamming their fist on it and screaming, red-faced, that GOD DAMMIT IF JESSE PINKMAN WINS THE PORT COMMISSIONER ELECTION AGAIN I WILL STAGE A COUP AND RUN THIS CITY MYSELF!

But it's city politics, so more likely it was a series of emails sent to and from people working in various cube farms trying to find some voice of reason, some celebrity with whom people would identify, to carry the important message that democracy is a privilege, not a right, and we should all stop electing Jake from Adventure Time as our Mayor because this is serious. So they settled on...uh, J.A. Jance, who Wikipedia tells me "is an American author of mystery and horror novels. She writes at least three series of novels, centering on retired Seattle Police Department officer J. P. Beaumont, Arizona county sheriff Joanna Brady, and Ali Reynolds."

So take it from that lady, kids! This ain't Soviet Russia, god dammit. Stop suggesting Corky from Life Goes On would make a good County Clerk, because he's a fictional character and we already asked him last election but he's busy touring with his band.

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