Let's All Go to the Movies!

My wife's out of town for the weekend kicking butt at a singing competition, so I had the house for myself to do whatever I wanted to do. Unfortunately, my lungs decided that meant taking a break from recovering from a horrible cold I've had for two weeks now and developing full-blown bronchitis, so I mostly lied around.

Sunday, though, I decided to see a movie; specifically, Cabin in the Woods. Kat doesn't share my enthusiasm for going to the movies, since she'd rather, y'know, do stuff. Like, outside. When I can convince her to watch a movie with me, the compromise is usually that it's something with minimal violence and scary stuff. She just can't handle it. Not in a "I don't like to be scared" way, either; I'm talking, like actual psychic damage to her soul. She cried at the violence in an episode of Family Guy. So I figured if ever I wanted to see this flick, this weekend would be my best chance.

But first I had to overcome my social anxiety about going to the movies alone. What is it about that? I know I'm not the only one who feels weird about seeing a movie alone, but why? It's passively watching a screen; I do that alone all the time. And it's not like watching a movie is all that social an experience anyway. If you talk to someone during a movie, you're not enjoying a movie. You're an asshole. So whatever, I watched a movie alone and felt like a creepy guy. Such is my emotional baggage.

The movie was good. I kept seeing people talking about the "twist," which I don't really understand because A) the "twist" is explained in the opening five seconds, and B) I'm familiar with The SCP Foundation, which I feel like Joss Whedon pretty blatantly ripped off. I hope they at least got some kind of royalty. But I'm not even gonna talk about the movie. Go see it if you're into scary movies. It's good.

I missed a 15-minute portion, though, because a severely drunk, belligerent, apparently-homeless guy of indeterminate Southeast Asian origin (Indian? Pakistani? I didn't get to ask) stormed into the dark theater screaming at...someone. He dragged two or three ushers in with him and charged up the stairs to a row behind me and began wading through the increasingly-alarmed crowd screaming obscenities and insulting a woman about something. He also kept screaming "I STOP THIS WHOLE MOVIE NOW!" Between that and all the F-bombs and outbursts of "whore" and various insults, it didn't take long for him to agitate a lot of the dudes there with dates and either feeling threatened or required to impress their ladies into standing up and shouting back.

While three extremely-overwhelmed teenage ushers repeatedly radioed in for security, three of the bigger patrons stood up and manhandled this guy (and his three or four shopping bags, I guess he stopped to pick up a few things on his way in) out the theater. The whole way he screamed things like, "Fuck you!" and the good Samaritans would respond, "NO, FUCK YOU!" as if trying to shout down a guy like that is ever going to convince him of the error of his ways.

He was tossed out and eventually everyone settled down after briefly directing their built up anger on one guy who kept yelling at the projectionist to rewind the movie.

At least I got a free pass to come back and see another movie for free.


Jules Gauch said...

Wow, that was an eventful trip to the theatre!! So, it was good, huh? I hate to admit I've become a baby about watching scary movies since my target viewing audience at home is 3-5 yearsof age. I actually said, "I don't like these previews." when Matt and I saw The Raven this week. They were too gross for me. Anyways.....glad u got a free pass.

tater said...

Was the violent Family Guy episode the elmer fudd, bugs bunny episode?

rc said...

I'm kind of the same way, Jules. I wanted to see it, but I was worried I'd be scared home alone. It's gory, but not too terrifying.

Tater, the episode was when Stewie kills Lois.