I play Dungeons & Dragons once a week with friends, because at the age of 29 I realized I had not been mercilessly ridiculed enough in my life. Anyway, it makes for a late night and since my wife is up at the ass crack of dawn every morning to get to culinary school, she's usually asleep when I get home. I tried sneaking into bed without waking her up last night when the following transpired:
Kat: "Hnh? Oh, hi honey."
Me: "Hey. Sorry for waking you."
Kat: "It's okay. Did you have fun?"
Me: "Yeah. I made Kristy suck my dick."
Me: "In the game. My elf charmed her cleric because she wouldn't do her job and heal us. Then I made her suck my dick."
Kat: "Why would you do that to her? What the fuck game are you playing?"
Me: "It wasn't her, it was a cleric named Turnip."
Kat: ..."Whatever. Goodnight."
Me: "Turnip's a dude."
...Me: "I guess that doesn't make it any better."
Me: "Okay. G'night."