My Pitch for a Cooking Show

Forget all this Gordon Ramsay bullshit. I want a cooking show I can relate to. I don't want to see someone with more culinary talent and ability than I'll ever have perfecting recipes I'll never attempt; I want to see someone on a budget and under a time crunch.

Like, for example, a show could follow a guy as he tries to grill some salmon, runs out of propane while pre-heating the grill and has to dump the fish into a cast iron skillet. Then he simultaneously burns AND undercooks the fish all while undercooking the rice and scorching the roasted vegetables. He briefly considers just ordering a pizza before muttering, "Fuck it" and eating the sordid mess while downing a bottle of wine and berating himself for being such a pathetic failure of a human being that he can't even cook goddamn food for himself.

Oh, and he eats it on the couch while watching Discovery Channel.

Let me know if you're interested, Food Network! We can start filming as soon as you guys get to my apartment.