So This Happened Last Night

I went to an open mic at a place I've never been to and paid my $5 to get in. They hand you a little generic raffle ticket just to show you've paid, except because I walked in right after a woman the ticket guy assumed I was with her and handed her two tickets. "Oh sorry," he said, "just get it from her."

Now I don't know why he refused to just give me another ticket. They weren't actually counting them, the numbers meant nothing, and based on the crowd I later encountered he could've given me a hundred tickets and it wouldn't have mattered. But I was new and didn't know the score and figured if I didn't have a ticket on me that would be the one time a bouncer or someone would ask if I had paid and I didn't want to have to deal with any bullshit.

So I tap the woman, a tall thin punk-hipster-type wearing a leopard skin coat with her head shaved except for overly-long bangs that are bleached blonde, on the shoulder.

"Hey, sorry," I say in my nice voice, "Can I get my ticket from you? He accidentally gave you both of ours." I feel like that's a pretty reasonable request. Nothing too extraordinary, and it requires no further interaction between us should you decide you don't want it. Just hand me the ticket, you don't even have to say anything really, and move on with your life.

But no. That's not how she decided to play it.

"What do you need it for, your fucking scrap book?" Her words stab me as she stuffs the crumpled raffle ticket into my hand. It's such a bizarre and unexpected display of aggression that I blank.

"Yes." I smile dumbly and walk away, cursing under my breath. "Yes?" Fucking "Yes?!" What I should've said was "Actually, you self-righteous bitch, I need it because it proves that I paid. Now once I go down here and see that it's pretty casual I won't worry about tickets in the future but for right now it's my first night here and I don't want to get hassled about NOT having a ticket so shut the fuck up and just give me the fucking ticket like a normal human being would."

The dude she was with went up on stage and fucking bombed. Serves him right for telling shitty jokes about Barry Bonds. They also left immediately after his set without listening to the other comics, further cementing their status as complete shit heads.

Other than that it was nice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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