10.31.2010

The Ballad of Sweet Tito

Since I just moved to a new city and don't really know anyone, I've been spending a lot of time in front of the TV trying to put myself out there and meet some friends. 

Okay, A friend. Any friend.

So when my co-worker Luke invited me to a weekly game night he's a part of, I was excited. My other work pals Josh, Matthew and Matt (no relation) were also attending, and I was happy at the prospect of transitioning from "work pals" to "friends," which could not sound gayer if I was sucking a dick while typing it. I agreed, and headed out to Gary's Games for my first ever session of Dungeons & Dragons.

10.22.2010

James Bond's got Nothin' On This.

I don't know what French Bond rip-off this is, but it's epic:

 

I'm not sure how her boobs make a sound like a table saw, or how razor blades spinning at roughly the speed of a lamp pull string can disintegrate a chair like that. 

And if your mission is to wield razors dangling from your nipples in order to stop or incapacitate a French super-spy, shouldn't you, like, do something to him once you're done ruining his furniture?

10.21.2010

Oh my god, I get it. You want me to share this.

I'm not sure why it's showed up all of a sudden, and I can't for the life of me find it to get rid of it, but I apologize for the ever-increasing rash of "SHARE THIS" buttons appearing at the bottom of posts on the main page.

Near as I can tell they don't show up when you click the actual entry link, but fuck they're annoying. Anyone know how I can remove them or what I should even be looking for?

I keep finding funky javascript for it in my blog entries that I'm not entering and is definitely not part of any template I use, but when I delete it the links are still on the main page. Weird.

Dear Whoever Makes Those Credit Card Machines at Cash Registers

Here's what should happen every time you try to purchase something at a store using your credit or debit card at one of those little swipe machine things:

HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE BUYING
HERE'S HOW MUCH IT COSTS + TAX
WE GOOD? Y N 

Here's what happens instead. Every. Fucking. Time.

HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE BUYING
HERE'S HOW MUCH IT COSTS + TAX
IS THAT THE SAME AMOUNT THEY TOLD YOU?
ARE YOU SURE?
YOU WANT SOME CASH BACK?
ARE YOU SURE?
SO, JUST TO BE CLEAR, HERE'S YOUR GRAND TOTAL
YOU'RE 100% SURE?
FINAL ANSWER?
DO YOU WANT ALL OF IT ON THE CARD? OR ARE YOU ALSO PAYING IN POGS?
OKAY FOR REAL NOW. I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO CHARGE YOUR CARD.
I'M SERIOUS.
I MEAN IT.
NO TAKE BACKS.
LAST CHANCE FOR SOME CASH BACK.
YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN BY NOW, SO HERE'S YOUR TOTAL AGAIN.
TOTALLY GONNA RUN YOUR CARD NOW.
UNLESS YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE.
FINE. I DID IT. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.



Fuck you, swipey.


I realize the store probably has some liability they're trying to dodge when the card declines so they can stick the bill to me or something, but CHRIST. They don't have to push that many buttons when they launch a fucking space shuttle.

Can we reach a point where people are trusted to actually look at the goddamn screen when they're buying something and, if something's not correct, point it out before pressing "okay"?

No? Of course not.