2.19.2010

Taking Back Balls Deep.

I recently discovered this show on Vice called Balls Deep, which aside from being pretty interesting to me has a hilarious name. I sent Kat a link to an episode about Leather Daddies in New York, which she was afraid to click on due to the words "Balls Deep" in the URL.

She decided that we need to take Balls Deep back.

And so we've started using "balls deep" to mean, "totally" or "absolutely." Some people use the cutesy "totes" in the name of brevity; I use "balls." And I'm telling you, life's never been better. Just think of all the uses:

"Do you want to go to the concert with us?"
"Balls deep!"

"I balls deep love you, babe."

"We on for Friday night?"
"Balls."

"Under penalty of perjury, I swear and affirm that this testimony is balls deep and completely truthful."

So join the sensation that's sweepin' the nation. Start sayin' Balls Deep.

2.15.2010

The Ballad of the Burberry Scarf

What the hell is with this scarf?


It is EVERYWHERE. Every other woman I see is wearing this, and yesterday I saw two guys wearing them also. Is there some sort of cult I'm missing out on? Is this the most affordable scarf on the market today? Is it just that fucking good at warming your neck?


It's getting to the point where I feel left out. I only have one scarf, and it's green and black. Sure, it's stylish enough, but no one else on the planet seems to have one. I feel like I've been picked last for dodgeball (again).

Screw this. I'm going to Hot Topic to get one of those "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same," t-shirts.

2.13.2010

Next up: pop-up ads on spiders

Some company in Germany is promoting tying little banner ads to flies as a way of marketing your business.

For reals.

The flies buzz around and do whatever flies do, but they've got these little banners behind them, kinda like those Sandpiper planes at the beach and over stadiums all the time.

Added bonus: the flies get so tired from the extra weight that they can't fly much higher than eye level, and they stop to rest a lot, so people are drawn to the movement in front of them and follow it to its resting point and see the ad.

Of course the whole thing is moot: PETA's going to try and shut that shit down 20 minutes after hearing about it.

2.12.2010

It's like Sophie's Choice!

I was at the 7-Eleven near my work last night getting cash. I have to get cash at the 7-Eleven because the ATM there is one of like two that my bank supports and won't charge me a fee for using.

Anyway.

The guy behind the counter was engaged in a loud but friendly argument with some other guy trying to buy a newspaper. The 7-Eleven employee was Ethiopian and was trying to explain that all of us, except Native Americans (and for some reason Mexicans) are immigrants. The newspaper guy, however, was not buying, and insisted he was from the USA.

Finally it came out that the clerk was Ethiopian. He asked me where I was from, almost accusatory, like I would sheepishly explain that I had just shown up from Norway or something. I explained that I was born locally, and as a peace offering mentioned that I love Ethiopian food. The other guy pounced.

"What about soul food?!"

I like soul food, too.

"Well which is better?" The Ethiopian guy pushed. Suddenly I felt like it was my parents' divorce all over again. I was torn between pleasing these two random strangers in a convenience store. I stammered that I could not choose because they were both very good for different reasons.

Then I ran out.