So I've been lying low for a few weeks because I was sitting on the confidential and unreleased information that my day job had been bought out and I was being assimilated moved to their office in Seattle. Now that everything is out in the open and public knowledge, I can and have let pretty much everyone know that I'm heading to the Pacific Northwest at the end of this month. In two weeks, actually.

I've secured a place, or I will as soon as I fax back my signed lease, and it's right on the water in Alki so that's pretty awesome. I've also started the farewell party circuit, which is always fun. I'll be working in a soul-crushing cube farm, which sucks a bag of dicks, but at least I'll be in a cube next to the people I work with and like.

I have a really strong knee-jerk reaction to corporate life. I hate Hate HATE the fake smiles and organized "fun" giant faceless corporations try to foster among employees. Of course before my current gig I was in the epicenter of corporate micromanaged bullshit complete with forms to sign just to go to the bathroom, so maybe I'm just a little gun-shy.

Anyway, this is a lot of not-funny stuff, but I've also decided to spend this summer rebuilding myself. Or tearing myself down. I can't decide which metaphor I like better.

The short answer is I'm fat. Being fat isn't an indictment in and of itself, but I'm fatter than I want to be. In the last three years I've become a hypochondriacal nutcase convinced that every time I eat a burger it's going to be the thing that kills me. Sure, a sane person might just, y'know, stop eating burgers and drinking soda, and I have...cut back...a little. 

Actually, thanks to my wife I eat better now than I ever have in my life, which is helping; but it turns out that despite my best efforts to find any evidence to the contrary you actually have to exercise to be healthy. So I've started a combination program: first, I canceled my gym membership to make this as hard as possible and also because I'm moving to Seattle so I can't keep paying it. Next, I started a combination of the One Hundred Pushups program and the Couch to 5K plan. I do them on alternating days. I also acquired a super amazing bike to mix things up once in awhile.

Third, inspired by Drew Magary's Public Humiliation Diet, I'm going to let you guys in on it in the hopes that you'll be more supportive than insulting. But then again I write the Twit of the Week so I understand the need to occasionally berate a stranger via the anonymity of the internet.

Anyway, today is actually Day 3 of this plan (I really debated whether or not to go public with my quest to not be a huge fat ass), so here's where I'm at:

Starting weight: 262 (sadly, not the fattest I've ever been)
Day 1: 25 pushups
Day 2: 5 minute walk followed by alternating 1 minute of running/1.5 minutes of walking for a total of 25 minutes. (This sounds super lame, and it kind of is, but it's a very gradual plan for basically-sedentary people designed to keep me from hurting myself or getting frustrated at my complete lack of fitness and quitting.) Also super lame: on my first day I could only stick it out for 19 minutes before stopping.
Day 3: 34 pushups

From now on I'll title these kinds of posts "Rebuilding Randy" so you know to avoid them if you don't want to hear me bitch about how fat I am. 

More running tomorrow. Wish me luck!


LA said...

Good luck on your move and on your fitness goals! Anytime you need a pep talk or a snarky comment to keep you going, i'll be here with it.

Pam said...

I have lead a learn to run 10k program in the past (after learning to run 10k myself a few years ago) and I give you this gem -- SLOW DOWN. You'll finish your 25 minutes or whatever it is you have to do next if you slow your running pace down to a shuffle/jog sort of thing. If you can't do it, you're going too fast/pushing too hard. Keep at it! :)

rc said...

Thanks for the support! Pam, as far as slowing down, I honestly don't know that I can go slower than I am. If I do I think that means I'm actually just walking.

Chris said...

Love this.

If you are looking for motivation, check out johnstonefitness.com and read through some of his archive. He was in a similar position and kept an online journal with daily pics to motivate himself into changing. It's good stuff and pretty damned motivating.

Meanwhile, if you need any suggestions for dieting or exercise, let me know.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Diana said...

Good luck with your weight loss goals! I tried doing the public announcements of my daily accomplishments and goals, but got lazy which kind of defeated the purpose....but your links look intriguing and I might investigate them further!