I've secured a place, or I will as soon as I fax back my signed lease, and it's right on the water in Alki so that's pretty awesome. I've also started the farewell party circuit, which is always fun. I'll be working in a soul-crushing cube farm, which sucks a bag of dicks, but at least I'll be in a cube next to the people I work with and like.
I have a really strong knee-jerk reaction to corporate life. I hate Hate HATE the fake smiles and organized "fun" giant faceless corporations try to foster among employees. Of course before my current gig I was in the epicenter of corporate micromanaged bullshit complete with forms to sign just to go to the bathroom, so maybe I'm just a little gun-shy.
Anyway, this is a lot of not-funny stuff, but I've also decided to spend this summer rebuilding myself. Or tearing myself down. I can't decide which metaphor I like better.
The short answer is I'm fat. Being fat isn't an indictment in and of itself, but I'm fatter than I want to be. In the last three years I've become a hypochondriacal nutcase convinced that every time I eat a burger it's going to be the thing that kills me. Sure, a sane person might just, y'know, stop eating burgers and drinking soda, and I have...cut back...a little.
Actually, thanks to my wife I eat better now than I ever have in my life, which is helping; but it turns out that despite my best efforts to find any evidence to the contrary you actually have to exercise to be healthy. So I've started a combination program: first, I canceled my gym membership to make this as hard as possible and also because I'm moving to Seattle so I can't keep paying it. Next, I started a combination of the One Hundred Pushups program and the Couch to 5K plan. I do them on alternating days. I also acquired a super amazing bike to mix things up once in awhile.
Third, inspired by Drew Magary's Public Humiliation Diet, I'm going to let you guys in on it in the hopes that you'll be more supportive than insulting. But then again I write the Twit of the Week so I understand the need to occasionally berate a stranger via the anonymity of the internet.
Anyway, today is actually Day 3 of this plan (I really debated whether or not to go public with my quest to not be a huge fat ass), so here's where I'm at:
Starting weight: 262 (sadly, not the fattest I've ever been)
Day 1: 25 pushups
Day 2: 5 minute walk followed by alternating 1 minute of running/1.5 minutes of walking for a total of 25 minutes. (This sounds super lame, and it kind of is, but it's a very gradual plan for basically-sedentary people designed to keep me from hurting myself or getting frustrated at my complete lack of fitness and quitting.) Also super lame: on my first day I could only stick it out for 19 minutes before stopping.
Day 3: 34 pushups
From now on I'll title these kinds of posts "Rebuilding Randy" so you know to avoid them if you don't want to hear me bitch about how fat I am.
More running tomorrow. Wish me luck!