Sorry for my Whiteness

I went to the gas station today, and had to duck inside to throw some whiz. On my way out the door, a guy coming in stopped and held the door open. There was some traffic in the entrance, so I had to turn sideways and squeeze by him.

"Excuse me," I said.

"Huh uh," he muttered, "Ain't no excusin' the white man."


I get it. White people, on average, are pretty fucking evil. They're responsible for a lot of heinous shit throughout history, and they've still got a pretty fierce hegemony in place to try and keep people (mostly other white people) from realizing just how awful they are. Which is why I'm distancing myself by referring to white people as "them," despite my Swedish roots and nigh-translucent complexion.

But c'mon, man. Do I look like The Man?

If I strolled out of the QwikTrip in my three-piece suit with a BlueTooth earbud talking about buying up some Section 8 housing to tear it down and put in a liquor store, sure. Call me out. But c'mon, man. I'm just gettin' gas. I'm wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt. Not fashionably ripped, either; they're like six years old.

It made me realize a big difference between white and black people, though. When black people commit crime (and not all of them do so stop quaking in your suburbs) it's angry. It's a lashing out. It's violent. It's a robbery, or a home invasion, or maybe even a murder. Sudden. Shocking. Intrusive.

When white people commit crime it's completely fucking evil and sinister. It's calculated. Sociopathic. Remorseless. I'm talking genocides, internment camps, the Trail of Tears, and Catholicism.

I see the guy's point. Kill all white people!

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