Lame White People

Well this is just your average family port-WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUY'S HEAD?!

It looks like a cross between a peach and a baboon's ass!


Lame White People

"We're totally not gay! Why does everyone keep asking that?!"

It's Halloween!

I've never been all that big on Halloween. My wife Kat doesn't really care for it either. So trick-or-treaters may be greeted with an exasperated, "Oh, hey. Fuck. Honey? Can you bring me some apples or coffee beans or something? There are kids at the door."

That said, Halloween does have the baffling and nonsensical tradition of leading women to believe that their costumes must be as whorish and slutty as possible, regardless of what they are. Slutty nurse, slutty French Maid, slutty Spongebob, slutty Zombie Rabbi, it doesn't matter.

Given that fact, and the penchant for my office to look like a scene from the Tits Ahoy night club on any given day of the week anyway since hardly any of the women there know the difference between "business casual" and "I'm going out to get fucked," today should be a pretty exciting day at work.


Lame White People

Yosemite Sam and Milton from Office Space had a son. Who shit his pants right before this picture was taken.


My Latest Feature: Lame White People

If there's anyone who can make lame an art, it's white people. And even a cursory glance at the internet reveals a startlingly large amount of them like to plaster their pictures up on the internet for me to mock.

Like this guy. I realize this is just somebody's headshot, probably for his dental office or something, but the plastic smile, weird doll hair, and static, piercing eyes make this guy just half a shade off from rapist. Seriously, ladies: would you accept a drink this guy handed you at a bar? Worse than rape, he'd probably get you drunk to go home and talk about bible verses.