10.15.2014

Talk About Wasted Money

Someone, somewhere, paid money for my impression on this ad:

Which means that someone, somewhere, was sold a bill of goods. Even if I was the type of guy to buy blazers...who the fuck would wear one of these in public? The Joker? 

Even the idea that you might see these on some red carpet somewhere, worn by clueless, vapid douchebags with too much money doesn't hold water: they're $11 blazers. In day-glo colors. I can only imagine the quality of production involved.

Sorry, struggling, blind producer of cheap-ass blazers. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

9.23.2014

Diary of Descent: August

July

August 2
3:30p


TOP SECRET/SENSITIVE

The use of lethal force is hereby authorized and required to contain and subdue any affected individuals in affected areas. At this time deployment priority is no longer evacuation/rescue. Full priority will be given to subduing/containing any individuals exhibiting the following:

8.28.2014

Badvertising: Even for Comical Dildo Commercials, This Sucks

Are you in the market for a dildo? Bully for you! I don't know a whole hell of a lot about dildos, so I can't really make any informed suggestions. I can tell you which one I'd recommend avoiding, though:

8.27.2014

Hurrah, Sports!

I love football and hockey, but I'm not afraid to expand my sporting horizons with the occasional World Cup dalliance or maybe a WNBA game if I'm too high to get off the couch or something. But the point is I am always looking for the next innovation in sports and sporting, because I live a life from which I need constant distraction or else my brain will cave in on itself with hatred and anxiety.

So I'm really psyched about whatever the fuck this is migrating over to the United States:




See? It's a sport because there was a ball on the field. At some point. I'm pretty sure I saw one. Anyway, I don't speak Italian so if you know what the hell's going on I'd love to hear it.

It's no Kronum, and it's certainly no Tazer Ball, but I'd watch a bunch of dudes beat the shit out of each other on a dirt field on a Sunday afternoon.