Okay I'm not Super Political...

But in what part of the "Politician Campaign Strategy Book" does it suggest a candidate should imply they would fuck rats, but only particular rats?

Way to take the high road, Ted.


Oh. That's Nice...I guess?

Certainly there are worse ways to find out you were rejected by a comedy festival. Still kinda stings, though.


Modern TV is Too Gross

It seems like everything on TV is some barbaric, anachronistic throwback to a horrific time where bloodlust and wanton violence are the only discerning character traits.

But enough about the GOP debates heyoooooooooooooooooo



Scribes! Take chisels to your tablets, and record for posterity this momentous occasion! Let it be known on this day, and on all days forever more, that Randall Cleveland did receive his company's first ever "Tip of the Hat" award! Such a blessing is received only by those who "do their job, you know, well, but not like enough to change the direction of the company or anything."

Yes, though it may not be the lustily-coveted "Rave Award," it is a Tip of the Cap. And it is mine. Forever.


You Know What, Apple?

These proprietary headphone adapters and charging cables are getting ridiculous. 

Also, what doofus in Marketing cooked up "Babypod" when "PoonBox" or "Wet-O-Blaster" were right there for the taking?